167. Make Something Out Of Wood

Posted in skills on January 6, 2014 by Allen

MC3_3497Making things with your hands is awesome.  Making things with your hands, with the help of dangerous power tools, is downright badass.

In contrast to building stuff out of metal or plastic, creating with wood gives off the impression of eco-friendliness.  It makes you feel closer to your pioneer ancestors, and no other material smells quite so great.

Your project already exists inside that log over there.  All you have to do is chip away at the wood to reveal it. free-small-woodworking-project-plans

166. Deep Fry a Turkey

Posted in skills, soirees on November 20, 2012 by Allen

The three pillars of cool are: Doing things effectively, doing things quickly, and doing things awesomely.  If you deep fry your turkey this year, you will touch upon these three pillars in dazzling fashion.

The deep frier has taken a lot of flak in recent years now that being unhealthy is no longer fashionable.  When you apply this technology to your turkey dinner, however, you not only create an eye-catching spectacle that the whole family can enjoy, but you also cut 6 hours off your cooking time, freeing you up to spend more time drinking beer and watching football.

165. Get your Camera Out In Time

Posted in skills on August 25, 2012 by Allen

Timing is the essence of cool and a great photograph is the essence of timing.  Nothing highlights your coolness quite like a perfectly timed photo.  Smartphones have made this easier but it still requires skill, patience, and a good old-fashioned knack for knowing when something awesome’s about to happen.

And do it gracefully.  There’s nothing worse than seeing someone madly fumble around with their SLR, nearly choke themselves with the strap, and then awkwardly fire off a shot with the lens cap on.  If you want to take quick shots like a boss you’ve got to know exactly how your spirit stealer works.  Familiarizer yourself with the interface, know precisely which pocket it’s in, do a couple of practice reps.  You want to be able to draw and shoot your camera with the cold-hearted efficiency of a gunslinger.

164. Rock a Walking Boot

Posted in style on August 14, 2012 by Allen

Remember how cool it was back in grade 3 when you broke your foot?  You’d get a rad cast that everybody could sign and draw pictures on. Sure, you’d get super itchy, you couldn’t do anything fun, and you had to shower with a garbage bag tied over your leg, but you always had a seat on the bus and you’d get crazy attention from girls.

Welcome to leg cast 2.0: The Mighty Walking Boot!!  You still get all kinds of sympathy but now your pimp walk is justified. They come in a fashionable range of colors, from microwave white to cyborg black

It’s Cool to be Awesome at Sports

Posted in sports, sweet videos on June 27, 2012 by Allen

And be humble about it.

163. Have a Novelty Photograph of Yourself

Posted in stuff on April 4, 2012 by Allen

If you carry around a novelty photograph of yourself, it means:

a) You are carefree, confident, and have a sense of humour, and b) You are dedicated enough to see a project through to it’s completion, regardless of how ridiculous it may seem.

Ask any woman to make a top ten list of things she looks for in a partner and, dollars to donuts, those traits will be on there.  Those aren’t, however, the coolest reason to orchestrate a novelty photograph.

You: “Hey, wanna see a cool picture?”

Your buddy: “Sure…… Ah, sweet, that’s awesome……wait, is that you??!!”

You: “Yup”

Your buddy: “Ha ha ha, that’s rad, I want one!!”

And there it is; sometimes it’s cool just to be envied.

162. Create a Playlist for Every New City You Visit

Posted in style on March 18, 2012 by Allen

Every city has it’s own unique rhythm and personality. Accordingly, before you visit, you should prepare a playlist that both compliments and enhances the visiting experience.

This is not to say that you should wander around with your headphones on the whole time, drowning out the city sounds.  Give yourself a day or two to soak in the local soundscape and become familiar with the traffic patterns. Once you’ve gotten a taste, it’s time to turn on your ipod and realize that you are in a movie, you are the hero, and this is your soundtrack.

PS: On a recent trip to London I spent a lot of time listening to the Miike Snow Album (Deluxe Edition). It was pretty rad.

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