(Only if you’re good)
You’ve just got so much music inside you you have to share it with the world!!
We love spontaneous live music, it becomes the soundtrack to our day. We will stop and listen. Let us. Basque in our applause and admiration. Take the odd request.
Whatever you do, resist the temptation to put your instrument case down in front of you. The last thing we want is some busker suddenly guilting us out of $5. Not cool.
If you’re European, you know 6 languages so this doesn’t really impress you, but in North America we go nuts for crazy exotic things like “languages”. Anything that isn’t English is witchcraft as far as we can tell.
If you speak Italian, take some friends to an Italian restaurant and order for everybody. Coolest person at the table.
Easier still, if you’re walking down the street with a friend, pretend to get a phone call and then start blah blah yickity yacking for 30 seconds or so in that foreign tongue of yours. Your friend will be giddy from having no idea what’s going on, but they’ll be reminded of one thing: Que toi, t’es vraiment super cool!
The popularity of Bollywood movies and Reality T.V. Dance Shows have placed an enormous burden on men. Moving with rhythm and grace is just not something we do naturally.
But if you learn even just a few dance moves you’ll have an incredibly powerful weapon in your arsenal. Be more popular at the wedding reception than the groom.
Look, when it comes right down to it, women just want to be led, spun and dipped.
There’s something very ‘Bob Dylan/Jack Kerouac’ about the ol’ Hobo Trombone.
Whether you’re opening up for Elvis Costello at the House of Blues in Chicago or you’re traveling cross country from boxcar to boxcar, searching for the American dream, the harmonica is an essential piece of musical cool.
It’s relatively easy to learn, convenient to carry, and when the guitars come out at the bonfire party and start laying down Radiohead’s Paranoid Android you’ll be the coolest guy on the beach when you rock out that Johnny Greenwood “Rain Down, rain down” 3rd section (3:39) on your harmonica. For real.
Whether you’re whiling away the afternoon skipping stones at the beach or you’re inciting a riot after a Guns’n'Roses concert, the ability to chuck a rock with deadeye precision is an absolute must.
Remember, it’s also important to look cool while you’re loitering. Imagine yourself and a couple of friends hanging around in front of a 7-11, waiting for your ride to show up. Inevitably someone says, “Hey, who thinks they can hit that sign from here with a rock?”
The coolest person in the group is the one who makes the sign go PING first.
It should be refreshing, delicious, and leave it’s drinker with a nice warm feeling. Tell no one the recipe.
If you know how to spin bottles and you own a pair of Ray-Bans then you should prepare it in front of your friends. While you do this, tell them some story about how you first tasted this wonderful elixir along El Malecon in Havana or at a desert oasis in Marrakesh.
Finally, you need to give your special cocktail an epic, unforgettable name like Angel Blood, E.S.P. or The Origin of the Species.
We love it when somebody steps up to the karaoke mic and crushes one that we all know. Instant Rock Star. Make sure to play the crowd and at one point during the chorus turn the mic towards us so we can belt along with you.
Some options that are guaranteed to bring out the lighters:
Longboarding is super fun, easy to learn, quick, efficient and cheaper then your car. If you’re a chick, it makes you look hot. If you’re a dude, it gives you a moderate amount of street-cred. Except with skateboarders. But that’s just “board envy”.
