The deep frier has taken a lot of flak in recent years now that being unhealthy is no longer fashionable.  When you apply this technology to your turkey dinner, however, you not only create an eye-catching spectacle that the whole family can enjoy, but you also cut 6 hours off your cooking time, freeing you up to spend more time drinking beer and watching football.

And do it gracefully.  There’s nothing worse than seeing someone madly fumble around with their SLR, nearly choke themselves with the strap, and then awkwardly fire off a shot with the lens cap on.  If you want to take quick shots like a boss you’ve got to know exactly how your spirit stealer works.  Familiarizer yourself with the interface, know precisely which pocket it’s in, do a couple of practice reps.  You want to be able to draw and shoot your camera with the cold-hearted efficiency of a gunslinger.

Welcome to leg cast 2.0: The Mighty Walking Boot!!  You still get all kinds of sympathy but now your pimp walk is justified. They come in a fashionable range of colors, from microwave white to cyborg black

a) You are carefree, confident, and have a sense of humour, and b) You are dedicated enough to see a project through to it’s completion, regardless of how ridiculous it may seem.

Ask any woman to make a top ten list of things she looks for in a partner and, dollars to donuts, those traits will be on there.  Those aren’t, however, the coolest reason to orchestrate a novelty photograph.

You: “Hey, wanna see a cool picture?”

Your buddy: “Sure…… Ah, sweet, that’s awesome……wait, is that you??!!”

You: “Yup”

Your buddy: “Ha ha ha, that’s rad, I want one!!”

And there it is; sometimes it’s cool just to be envied.

This is not to say that you should wander around with your headphones on the whole time, drowning out the city sounds.  Give yourself a day or two to soak in the local soundscape and become familiar with the traffic patterns. Once you’ve gotten a taste, it’s time to turn on your ipod and realize that you are in a movie, you are the hero, and this is your soundtrack.

PS: On a recent trip to London I spent a lot of time listening to the Miike Snow Album (Deluxe Edition). It was pretty rad.

a) This person goes up the mountain so often he doesn’t even have time to take his gear out of his car.

b) This guy anticipates driving in such blindingly bright and insanely snowy conditions that it would be dangerous for him not to have ski goggles on at all times.

Both of those scenarios are pretty cool.

Granted, if you’re cool you’ve probably got places to be and appointments to keep.  Think of the escalator ride as your little oasis amid the madness of your day.  Bust a lean and reflect on all the cool things you’ve done today and all the cool things you’re about to do.  Catch your breath, read an ad on the wall, invent a backstory for the couple in front of you.

Look, if you madly sprint up or down the escalator, you’re going to get sweaty.  Cool people don’t sweat.

It’s called the Cash Game and everyone plays it on the last day of their trip.  The object of the game, quite simply, is to spend every last baht before getting on the plane.  There are two ways to lose:  #1. Under-budgeting, forcing you to make one last stupid trip to the stupid ATM on the Khao San Road so you can afford the stupid cab fare to the airport and #2. Over-budgeting and shamefully having to visit the currency exchange kiosk and getting jammed on the rate.  Don’t let this happen to you.  Spend wisely.

* Remember to save enough coins in your money belt for at least ten minutes in one of those airport massage chairs.  You’ll be glad you did.

Nothing screams youthful and carefree quite as succinctly as sliding down your mansion’s staircase bannister.  It’s like parkour for millionaires.