How You Can Be Cool

The popularity of Bollywood movies and Reality T.V. Dance Shows have placed an enormous burden on men.  Moving with rhythm and grace is just not something we do naturally.

But if you learn even just a few  dance moves you’ll have an incredibly powerful  weapon in your arsenal.  Be more popular at the wedding reception than the groom.

Look, when it comes right down to it, women just want to be led, spun and dipped.

There’s something very ‘Bob Dylan/Jack Kerouac’ about the ol’ Hobo Trombone.

Whether you’re opening up for Elvis Costello at the House of Blues in Chicago or you’re traveling cross country from boxcar to boxcar, searching for the American dream, the harmonica is an essential piece of musical cool.  

It’s relatively easy to learn, convenient to carry, and when the guitars come out at the bonfire party and start laying down Radiohead’s Paranoid Android you’ll be the coolest guy on the beach when you rock out that Johnny Greenwood “Rain Down, rain down” 3rd section (3:39) on your harmonica.  For real.

Whether you’re whiling away the afternoon skipping stones at the beach or you’re inciting a riot after a Guns’n’Roses concert, the ability to chuck a rock with deadeye precision is an absolute must.

Remember, it’s also important to look cool while you’re loitering.  Imagine yourself and a couple of friends hanging around in front of a 7-11, waiting for your ride to show up.  Inevitably someone says, “Hey, who thinks they can hit that sign from here with a rock?”

The coolest person in the group is the one who makes the sign go PING first.

It should be refreshing, delicious, and leave it’s drinker with a nice warm feeling.  Tell no one the recipe.

If you know how to spin bottles and you own a pair of Ray-Bans then you should prepare it in front of your friends.  While you do this, tell them some story about how you first tasted this wonderful  elixir along El Malecon in Havana or at a desert oasis in Marrakesh.  

Finally, you need to give your special cocktail an epic, unforgettable name like  Angel Blood,  E.S.P. or The Origin of the Species.