How You Can Be Cool

This one will require you to make some “tweaks” on your friend’s cell phone.  

Figure out which is your friend’s favorite song and then insist that they make that the ringtone for when you call them.  The thinking behind this is: if your ringtone is their favorite then they’ll subconsciously be hoping that you call them all the time.  Gateway to Cool.

If that song’s “unavailable”, here are a couple of ringtones that are sure to bring a smile to a phone owner’s face:  Sweet Child of Mine, This is Why I’m Hot, One Love, Paper Planes, The Corner, Back in Black.

The true magic happens when you call your friend and they’re with a bunch of other people.  Now a whole group suddenly knows you’re cool.  Mass marketing.

The Europeans have it figured out.  We poor North Americans have to hatch newer and more covert ways to drink in public.

Perfect for Farmer’s Markets, park BBQ’s or just walking down the city street.  The Slurp-tini gives you all the refreshing cool of a summertime slushie coupled with that warm electric throat drip  of a “grown-up” drink.  

But drink up, the booze makes it melt more quickly!

How tacky is it when someone says “Hey, you wanna see a picture of my kids?” and then whips out an iPhone and pinches and scrolls their way through a bunch of jpegs?  Pretty tacky.

A real picture, now that’s cool.

Whether it’s a photo of your sweetheart, a sailboat, or an official Red Ryder carbine-action 200-shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock, it just means so much more if it’s weathered and folded with some writing scribbled on the back.  You can kiss it good night before you go to sleep, and, if the object of your love betrays you, you can pin it to the wall and turn it into a dart board.