How You Can Be Cool

It doesn’t matter how ridiculous it is, if you propose a toast, social convention dictates that everyone stop what they’re doing, listen intently and drink in the name of whatever insane premise you’ve put forth.  By doing so, everyone is publicly agreeing with you.  Now that’s power.

Here’s the catch, you need to be the first person to propose the toast.  There is a slight decrease in the status of everyone else who failed to recognize the momentousness of the occasion.  Their lose is your gain.

So, whether you’re a grandchild toasting Grandpa’s 90th birthday, a Maid of Honor toasting the Bride or a Super Villain toasting to world domination, raise your glass and bathe in the cool.

Foreign things are cooler then domestic things and the accent is the most delicious indicator of the foreign mystique.

We love accents.  We love trying to place accents.  When we hear one, it can be intoxicating.  If someone with an accent asks us to do something we’re far more inclined to want to do it.  Partly it’s because we’re hypnotized by the strange rhythms and tones of their voice and partly because we want to give this foreigner a good impression of our city and country.

The good news is, accents can be faked.  Try adding a slight British pip to your words, or maybe a hint of French je ne sais quois.  You’ll be surprised how far it’ll get you.  Arnold Schwarzenegger has had plenty of time to lose his accent but he’s chosen to keep it because he knows how persuasive it can be.  An entire state made him their leader because he sounds like a cartoon.