There is a beautiful moment of tension when the waitress sidles up to your table carrying everyone’s meal. Whose dinner will look the most appetizing? Who did the best job of cracking the code of the menu and ordering the best entree?
A big part of being cool is being the envy of your friends, and having the meal with the most flavorful facade earns a huge amount of envy. This is why the ordering process can take so long, “What are you getting? Oh really, the Cajun Chicken Wrap, is that good here?” Nobody wants the waitress to hand them a plate that looks like floor-sweepings and then spend the rest of the meal staring longingly at everyone else’s repast.
So, how do you know what to order? Unless you’ve eaten there before, you’ll need to look for the little clues. Here’s one: pay attention to the free candies they give at the register. If they are mints, order pasta. If they are licorice/ouzo flavored, order the souvlaki. If there are Asian characters on the packaging, feel confident in ordering the rice bowl. If it’s a mish-mash of different candies, your best bet is the burger. And finally, if there are no candies at all, well, that’s the restaurant’s way of telling you their food needs no confectionary support and you can safely go ahead and order the steak, the Cadillac of Restaurant Meals.