How You Can Be Cool

At the very core of this exhibition of awesomeness is dexterity.  The more casual you can be about it all, however, the cooler you’ll appear.  Like most things in life, the less attention you draw to it, the more amazing it will be.  Let your friends be all, “Whoa, did you just flip that pancake with one hand!?”, to which you respond, “Uh, yeah, I guess.  That’s how I always do it.”

Shuffling a deck of cards, peeling an orange, catching an impossible over-the-shoulder touchdown, these are all simple activities, made cooler, when done one-handed.  Look, cool people are so busy doing cool things that they simply don’t have time to use both hands.

There are a lot of attractive people walking down your street right now.  These people should be stared at.  The challenge is to do it gracefully.

First of all, let’s clarify the two types of ogling.  There are times when you don’t want to be caught, and there are times when you do.  Many beautiful relationships and restraining orders have come as a result of blatant staring.  If that’s part of your game, lech away.

There are, however, many times when being caught rubbernecking just won’t do.  Maybe you’re with your significant other.  Maybe you’re with your mom.  Maybe you just want to try being subtle for a change.  Whatever your reasons, there are a few techniques that can help to satisfy your hungry eyes.

When you’re in a car:  Rear view mirrors.  Too easy.  That’s what they’re there for.

When at the beach:  Sunglasses.  No one can see your eyes.

When walking along the street:  Storefront windows.  Reflections make fantastic cover.

When you need to turn around to check the backside:  Drop something.  Magicians call this technique “misdirection”.  Whoever you’re with will be distracted enough not to notice your stares whilst the hubbub of picking up your items will allow you all the diversion you need to do a 180 and drink it all in.

Remember, a good long leer can brighten your day.  It’s what the summer’s all about.