Super awesome.
And of course, the original:
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Archive for July, 2010
121. Have a “MacGyver Moment”
Posted in skills on July 23, 2010 by Allen
Sometimes you just don’t have the right tools for the job. Now you have to improvise.
The beauty of the “MacGyver Moment” is threefold: 1. The satisfaction of finding some materials that might work 2. The thrill of assembling it all together into some fandangled contraption that seems to work, and finally 3. The awe and admiration on your friends’ faces when everyone realizes that the aforementioned gizmo totally works!
All you need is a little resourcefulness, a garage full of nicknacks, and the audacity to try something crazy. Remember, cool readers, Benjamin Franklin discovered electricity because of a “MacGyver Moment” (or so saturday morning cartoons has led me to believe).
120. Have a Dog
Posted in stuff on July 20, 2010 by Allen
Dogs are so sweet. Loyalty, security and playfulness, all wrapped up in a slobbering bag of fur.
The benefits of owning a dog are countless. They’re an easy way to meet people, they prove that you can tend to living things, and they take care of any food you spill on the ground.
Small dogs can be cute but big dogs are the raddest. The general rule of thumb is: The bigger the poop, the cooler the dog.
My cousin and her boyfriend rescued a mangy dog on the beach in Mexico. He had a limp and only responded to Spanish commands. They decided to keep him. Whilst driving back into the States, my cousin’s boyfriend was denied entry (he’s Australian with an Irish passport and a big black beard. I wouldn’t turn my back on him either) but the dog was fine. Why? Because dogs are awesome, that’s why!
119. (for women) Smoke a Pipe
Posted in stuff on July 17, 2010 by Allen
Smoking is kind of gross, however, smoking a pipe is kind of awesome. If you’re a hot chick smoking a pipe, well that’s just straight up badass.
No longer solely the domain of 1950’s sitcom dads or eccentric Victorian Era detectives, pipe smoking has gone through a bit of a revival of late. It’s classy, composed, and civilized. When’s it’s smoked by a woman, it goes way beyond “hipster” and into a whole new realm of rad.
Sure, it’s a more involved process, but that sacred ritual of preparing to smoke, crescendoing in the mighty striking of the match, is one part function, one part spectacle and all parts cool.
The Game is Afoot!!!
118. Start the Campfire
Posted in skills on July 4, 2010 by Allen
In this day and age of lighters, kerosene, and arsonists, starting a fire is not actually that hard to do. When camping, however, a certain degree of status and tent village celebrity is reserved for the woodsman who gets that campfire ablaze.
The fire is the lifeblood of the entire campsite. Without it: no cooking, no warmth, no light, and presumably, no protection from cougars and bears. Until it’s lit, everyone is in danger, and once it’s crackling, an enormous sense of relief and awe descends onto the entire campground. This, perhaps, is why the Fire-starter is so revered.
As the Bearer of the Blaze, you must know your surroundings. Which pieces of wood will burn, how much kindling do you need, which section of the newspaper is nobody going to want to read this weekend and can therefore be used as an ignitor? Be sure to create your pyre with care because you only get one match. Using a second match is to forfeit your cool altogether and admit that nature has defeated you. A good fire is a nice little reminder to nature that humans are in charge!
117. Get on the “Jumbotron”
Posted in stuff on July 1, 2010 by Allen
There are several ways to do this including, but not limited to: Being a hot chick, wearing a ridiculous costume, having a massive emotional reaction to the game, running onto the field, proposing marriage to someone and/or making out with them, attacking the mascot, being a kid in a hat that’s two sizes too big. Put any of these in combination and you’re golden.
Your reward is instant stadium celebrity. If you make it onto the Jumbotron at a major sporting event you need to realize that you have been given a gift. What you do with that gift, however, is up to you.
Do’s: Look cool about it, as if you expected to eventually be up there. Give a head-nod or wink, acknowledging the crowd and thanking the Jumbotron operators for “getting it right” this time.
Don’ts: Be sitting still and then suddenly go all crazy and manic when you notice you’re up there. Swivel your head around, while keeping your eyes locked on the big screen in convulsive attempt to locate the camera that’s filming you so you can stare into it directly. Anxiously grab the friend beside you in attempt to drag them into your madness.
Getting on the Jumbotron is a very polarizing moment. What you do when you get there will either send you down the path of cool or he path of spaz. Let’s make good choices out there, sports-fans.
