Archive for March, 2011

144. Give a Stranger Flowers

Posted in statements on March 21, 2011 by Allen

Everybody should try this at least once in their life, it’s pretty awesome.  This is how it should play out:

You buy a bouquet of flowers and just walk down the street with them.  At some point, inevitably, an older lady is going to jokingly say, “Oh, are those for me?”  You immediately respond with, “Oh, yeah, there you are.  I’ve been looking all over for you.  Here you go.”  You hand them the flowers and you walk away.  To that lady, you are now the coolest person in the world.

The best time of year to do this is around Valentine’s day because it’s a bit more sentimental for everyone.  Be careful, though.  This is when florists jack up the price of roses.

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Sometimes, it’s Cool to Cheat

Posted in sweet videos on March 13, 2011 by Allen

Your move, UFC.  What’s your answer to this?

143. Get “Into” a European Sport

Posted in sports on March 4, 2011 by Allen

Bless you Europe.  Everything about you seems exotic to us.  Your fragrant wines, your crazy fashion, your outrageous accents.

The great thing about really getting into a European sport is that, if you really want to, you’ll never miss a game.  The time difference allows you to get up at 4:30 am to watch the end of that Cycling race or to take in that Cricket tie.

You hear ridiculous expressions from play by play commentators like “That chap is a dibbly dobbler“, or “They’re at sixes and sevens at the back!”

Perhaps the single greatest benefit of really getting into a European sport is that it now allows you to wear colourful football scarves indoors and memorize fan chants like Dirty Northern Bastards and Posh Spice is a Slapper.

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