Archive for September, 2011

157. Know a Secret Shortcut

Posted in spaces on September 27, 2011 by Allen

Remember when you were a kid and you’d race your friend home from school?  Unless you knew at least two or three shortcuts along the way, you didn’t stand a chance.

It’s not just about getting places more quickly, it’s also about getting places more sneakily.  The true joy of the shortcut, however, comes from revealing it at the last possible second.  Whether you’re on a road trip with friends, competing in a gumball rally  across the country or running from ghosts in a haunted castle, you’re sure to be a hero when you suddenly yell out, “Guys, we’re going this way.  I know a shortcut!”

Look, people will tell you to, “Slow down. Life’s not a race, it’s a marathon.”  Those people don’t know any shortcuts.

156. Be on the Guest List

Posted in stuff on September 17, 2011 by Allen

If you’re on the guest list, it means one of two things: you’re friends with someone important or you’re important yourself.

Being on the guest list is awesome because the very act of checking that you’re  on the list is it’s own little emotional roller coaster.  Note how your heart leaps into your throat as the doorman flips the page over, back and forth, slowly scanning for your name…. Embrace the adrenaline rush of fear as you start to think that, “Maybe, this time, I’m not on there”.

Feel the explosion of victory as the doorman eventually does find your name and lets you in ahead of the line, confirming irrefutably that you are indeed a cool person and far more important than all those other peasants standing outside.

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