Archive for the soirees Category

85. Throw a Party that has a “Second Wave”

Posted in soirees on February 1, 2010 by Allen

Consider this from the perspective of a guest: you’ve had a great time,  some great conversations, met some cool new people, but now you’re starting to feel a bit tired and you’re thinking of going home.  As you go to grab your jacket there is a knock on the door and a whole new group of people arrives.  This new group is fun, energetic and looking to rip it up.

Then another group arrives, and another.  Maybe you have some friends amidst this second wave, maybe you don’t, but before you realize it it’s three hours later and you’re far drunker then you had planned on getting tonight.

Conclusion:  Best party you’ve been to in months and, of course, the success of the party is reflected upon it’s host.  The only problem now is that your hoarse throat and slurred words make it difficult to communicate with the taxi driver.

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83. Play the “Guess Who’s from Europe” Game

Posted in soirees, sports on January 25, 2010 by Allen

This game is played exactly how it sounds.  Whenever you’re at a bar,  restaurant, art show, rave, topless beach or any other public place, you simply try to guess who’s from Europe.

Here’s one clue that never fails:  Look at their jeans.  Sometimes they’ll look way better, sometimes they’ll look way worse, but they’ll always look slightly out of place.  Notice how the waistband sags differently, how the leg tappers in a dissimilar way, how the flare, wash and rise somehow feels unlike anything you’ve ever seen on your friends.

Keep a running score with your friends for the night.  To verify, ask your subject a question about wine or bicycles and listen for the accent.

P.S.:  When played in Europe the game is called “Guess Who’s from North America”.  Exact same rules and clues apply.  The verifying question should be about UFC or action movies, however.

73. Ginch a Mickey

Posted in soirees on December 12, 2009 by Allen

And sneak it into the club.  Think of how cool you’ll be when you break it out and start spiking everybody’s drinks under the table.  A rebel who brazenly plays by their own rules and helps liquor up their friends in the process.  That’s a double shot of cool!

Do not feel guilty about this.  After the $20 cover charge and the stupid $5 coat check, you deserve a discount on something.

Ginching a mickey is awesome because the risk / reward ratio is completely in your favor.  The reward for smuggling in free booze is far greater than the risk of the bouncer discovering it when he frisks you at the door.  Really the only way he’s going to find your baby bottle is if he grabs your crotch and if he’s prepared to do that, he deserves to win anyway.

P.S.: Don’t throw the empty bottle on the floor of the club.  Take it to the bathroom and hide it in the garbage.  The less attention you draw to what you’re doing the easier it will be to get away with it again and again.

72. Roll with a Crew

Posted in soirees on December 8, 2009 by Allen

Wolves have this one figured out.  In the Canis Lupus world, you’re only as strong as your pack.

There are a couple of key things to remember, here:  #1. You have to have cool people in your crew and #2. Within the crew, you need to be the coolest person.  Following these simple rules will increase your own cool exponentially

When it comes right down to it, traveling with a posse is not so much about intimidation as it’s about having a bunch of people with you to laugh at your jokes.

And remember, your crew shouldn’t to be any larger then 4 or 5 people, otherwise you won’t all be able to fit into 1 cab.

A Cool Celebration of 2 Important Days

Posted in soirees, sweet videos on October 28, 2009 by Allen

Courtesy of 30 Rock

59. Solve a Mystery

Posted in soirees on October 16, 2009 by Allen

scoobySherlock Holmes, Magnum and the Las Vegas CSI department have two things in common.  They are detectives and they are cool.

Everybody loves a sleuth, whether they’re cracking the code of the Devil’s Triangle or helping to find their  friend’s car keys.   In a world full of secrets, they  show us the answers.

We admire them because  a good detective is the perfect combination of science, faith and balls: they use cold hard logic, a keen mystical intuition and the recklessness of a rodeo clown.  Sweet.

All you need to do is follow the clues.

56. DJ the Party

Posted in soirees on October 5, 2009 by Allen

DJ-Trooper-detailBeing a good DJ is not easy.  It requires talent, dedication and practice.  The good news is, you can be a bad DJ and get almost as much tail.

As a culture, we seem to blindly worship the one who controls the party.  This is why you should insist on being placed on some kind of raised platform or pedestal.    If you don’t know what you’re doing, at least look busy.  Wear a hat or a hood, something you can pull down over your eyes.  This will make you seem that much more mysterious.  Hunch your shoulders and bend your neck.  The measure of a DJ’s greatness is based on how low they stoop down towards their decks.

Even if you’re just playing tracks off your ipod, the DJ is given a special position of respect.  If the kids are digging your tunes, you’re golden.  Let them all dance in your glow, baby.

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