Archive for the stuff Category

168. Allow for a Buffer

Posted in stuff on August 20, 2014 by Allen

This is as much common courtesy as anything else, but, it’s disheartening how few people abide by the rule.

Really, it applies for everything: movie theatre seats, the bus, lineups. The more cramped you are, the harder it is to look cool. It’s all about perspective. You want to allow others a certain amount of distance so that they can properly take you in.

Remember, it’s the space in between where the magic really happens.

163. Have a Novelty Photograph of Yourself

Posted in stuff on April 4, 2012 by Allen

If you carry around a novelty photograph of yourself, it means:

a) You are carefree, confident, and have a sense of humour, and b) You are dedicated enough to see a project through to it’s completion, regardless of how ridiculous it may seem.

Ask any woman to make a top ten list of things she looks for in a partner and, dollars to donuts, those traits will be on there.  Those aren’t, however, the coolest reason to orchestrate a novelty photograph.

You: “Hey, wanna see a cool picture?”

Your buddy: “Sure…… Ah, sweet, that’s awesome……wait, is that you??!!”

You: “Yup”

Your buddy: “Ha ha ha, that’s rad, I want one!!”

And there it is; sometimes it’s cool just to be envied.

161. Goggles Hangin’ from your Rearview Mirror

Posted in stuff on January 23, 2012 by Allen

Sporty, adventurous, prepared.  Whenever you come across a pair of ski goggles hangin’ from somebody’s rearview you can safely assume that:

a) This person goes up the mountain so often he doesn’t even have time to take his gear out of his car.

b) This guy anticipates driving in such blindingly bright and insanely snowy conditions that it would be dangerous for him not to have ski goggles on at all times.

Both of those scenarios are pretty cool.

156. Be on the Guest List

Posted in stuff on September 17, 2011 by Allen

If you’re on the guest list, it means one of two things: you’re friends with someone important or you’re important yourself.

Being on the guest list is awesome because the very act of checking that you’re  on the list is it’s own little emotional roller coaster.  Note how your heart leaps into your throat as the doorman flips the page over, back and forth, slowly scanning for your name…. Embrace the adrenaline rush of fear as you start to think that, “Maybe, this time, I’m not on there”.

Feel the explosion of victory as the doorman eventually does find your name and lets you in ahead of the line, confirming irrefutably that you are indeed a cool person and far more important than all those other peasants standing outside.

151. A Couch in the Back of your Pickup

Posted in stuff, sweet videos with tags , , on July 8, 2011 by Allen

There is no finer way to watch a drive-in movie than sitting on a plush chesterfield in the back of a pickup truck.  You want your rig to be the heart of the bush party?  Why not toss a sofa in your Sonoma.  At the pre-game tailgate, nothing says “opulence” quite like cooking bratwurst from the comfort of a loveseat.

Look, if you have a pickup, you’re already one step closer to being a redneck.  Time to embrace your true self and start moving your whole living room out there.

148. Prank your Friend

Posted in sports, stuff with tags , on May 23, 2011 by Allen

Here’s a story:

My buddy, Simon, posted an ad in the free section on craigslist that went, “Giving away my entire Playboy Magazine collection, (every issue, 1978-present).  Getting married and my fiance’s not cool with me having them.  She says it’s kind of a dealbreaker.  Gonna be with my girl tonight so please text me, no phone calls”  At the end of the ad he put his friend’s name and phone number.

He then went and played poker with that same friend and giggled the night away as his buddy received 25 texts within an hour with messages like, “That sucks, man, getting married’s tough.  I’ll take your porn”.

Among other things, a good prank can be a classy way to throw someone off their poker game.

145. Bring Extra Beers to the Party

Posted in stuff on April 29, 2011 by Allen

There are two types of people in the world: those with extra beers and those who “bum” beers.  Obviously you want to be the former.

Every now and then, you’ll find yourself in need, and that’s ok.  You just don’t want to make a habit of it.  There’s nothing cooler than being able to say, “You need a beer?  Grab one of the Red Racers in the fridge, those are mine”.

Robin Hood, Jesus and Napster were super cool because they shared everything.  You should too.

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