Archive for the style Category

139. Develop a Good “Photo Face”

Posted in style on January 19, 2011 by Allen

This does not mean “be good looking” or “have a nice smile”.  You’re going to get your photo taken hundreds of times this year.  You can’t be all smiley and happy in every shot, it reads as forced.  Likewise, you can’t always throw out a coquettish, sexy look all the time, it’s just not appropriate for a family Christmas card.

What you’re going to need to develop is a repeatable, non-committal facial expression that says “I’m having fun and I’m happy to be here”.  Generally, this expression  falls into the category of funny or surprised without being overly ridiculous.  It’s great for  when you want to stand out in a group.

The fact is, when somebody yells out, “Say cheeze!” it’s much easier to hold your “photo face” than it is to hold a phony smile.

Vincent Van Gogh painted many self portraits in a variety of different styles throughout his career.  As you experiment with your “photo face”, exploring it’s various subtleties and nuances with every pic, think of yourself as the Vincent Van Gogh of the Nikon Age.

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138. Carry a Flask

Posted in style on January 2, 2011 by Allen

Straight out of the Golden Age of Drinking, nothing evokes images of prohibition, speakeasies and flapper girls quite like breaking out that little metal container full of hooch.

Perfect for dinner parties, movie theaters or just wandering around the mall.  It’s hobo chic.  It adds an element of class and dignity to your brazen public drinking.

Perhaps the greatest delight of the flask comes from passing it to someone else.  See the excitement and anticipation in their eyes as they bring it to their lips.  It is the thrill of mystery booze that does it.  Until it’s actually in their mouth, there is no way for them to truly know what they’re about to drink.

134. Go Places in a Limo

Posted in style on November 4, 2010 by Allen

Comfortable spacious seating, fully stocked bar, tinted windows that block out the prying eyes of the riff raff.  There really is no better way to get around.  This is something that presidents, super villains and millionaire playboys have known for a long time.

The beautiful thing about rolling in a limousine, however, is that it also essentially gives you the right to blare music and demand attention.  The basic assumption of those outside the car is that those inside are having the time of their lives.  You owe it to those outsiders to live up to their expectations.  This is why grade 12 girls insist on standing out  the sun roof on grad night.  Cuz it’s awesome!

This is great news.  If some irate mobster sends a limo around to pick you up and take you on “one last ride”, you can rest easy knowing that at least you’re going out in style:

Jimmy Hoffa: So, where are we going?

Mobster: Giants Stadium.

Jimmy Hoffa: Awesome!  Mind if I pour myself a drink?

 

131. Have a Stylish Signature

Posted in style on October 3, 2010 by Allen

There’s a reason why we ask movie stars for their autograph and it’s not just for the thrill of a brush with celebrity.  We want to see what kind of “mark” these people leave.

A good signature should not look like your normal handwriting.  It should have grace, panache and be slightly illegible.

Underlines, flourishes, little drawn caricatures; these are all welcome.  Whether you’re an athlete who also jots down his uniform number or  you’re a nine year old girl who dots her “i’s” with hearts and flowers, the point is, you want to stand out. The harder it is for someone else to duplicate, the cooler it is.

Think of your signature as art.  It’s your own little piece of ball-point graffiti.

127. Put Horns on the Hood of your Car

Posted in style on September 7, 2010 by Allen

It happened very subtly and many of them didn’t even realize what they were doing.  Plaid shirts, tight jeans, glorious moustaches.  Hipster cool was really just the harbinger of a beautiful Redneck Renaissance!  The next logical style progression, of course, is hood horns.

Nothing says, “I own you, Nature”, like displaying your hunting trophies right there on the front of your whip.  Put on some CCR, grab a screw driver and some hood mounts, and turn that Jetta into something Boss Hogg would be proud of.  The only real danger is spearing yourself when you go to check the oil.

Now, if you want to double up your car’s badass quotient, add the horns and then start driving around at night with only one headlight. That is a car you don’t want to mess with.

98. Flash An Intriguing Underwear Band

Posted in style on March 27, 2010 by Allen

Catching a glimpse of an intriguing underwear band is like seeing a beautiful marlin leap magnificently out of the water and then disappear again beneath the waves.  You continue to gaze longingly at the spot where you last saw it, desperately hoping to catch another eyeful, secretly wondering if you actually saw what you thought you saw, while at the same time not wanting to look for too long for fear of being caught foolishly staring.

For the wearers of the mysterious underwear band, the  basic rules are twofold:

#1. The band should be eye-catching.  Unique color schemes,  lettering and textures.

#2. It’s gotta be subtle!  We’re talking just the slightest hint here, the very top of the band above the jeans, nothing more.  You should allow it to be visible only for a moment.  Unless you’re Marky Mark or a Las Vegas hooker, as the rhyme goes, “breaking this rule will make you look like a tool”.

Whenever we are talking about underwear we begin to venture into the realm of “sexy”.  Now,” sexy” and “cool” are not directly related, but they’re in the same neighborhood and  live, at most, just a couple of doors down from each other.

79. Driving Gloves

Posted in style on January 10, 2010 by Allen

Speed, control, action, power.  These are the words that float through your friend’s mind as he watches you slip your driving gloves over your hands and slide behind the wheel of your car.  You may only be going down the road to pick up some sandwiches, but clearly you mean business.

Made famous by Formula 1 racers and Action Movie Stars, driving gloves are the ultimate automobile accessory.   With their sleek yet sturdy design, they are as cool as they are functional.  The trick is to always wear them when you drive and to never address the fact that you are wearing them.  Putting them on should become as habitual as checking your mirrors.

So whether you’re Steve McQueen, Speed Racer or Judd Nelson in the Breakfast Club, driving gloves give you a whole different kind of cool.  Much like sunglasses, headbands and wallet chains, you don’t actually need to wear them, but you look more badass when you do.

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