151. A Couch in the Back of your Pickup

Posted in stuff, sweet videos with tags , , on July 8, 2011 by Allen

There is no finer way to watch a drive-in movie than sitting on a plush chesterfield in the back of a pickup truck.  You want your rig to be the heart of the bush party?  Why not toss a sofa in your Sonoma.  At the pre-game tailgate, nothing says “opulence” quite like cooking bratwurst from the comfort of a loveseat.

Look, if you have a pickup, you’re already one step closer to being a redneck.  Time to embrace your true self and start moving your whole living room out there.

150. Bust a Lean

Posted in style with tags , on July 1, 2011 by Allen

Whether it’s up against a graffitied wall, a lamp poll or a hitching post, nothing says “just hanging out” like a good lean.

A well executed lean is the coolster’s way of telling the world that, “Hey, I spend most of my day doing cool things with other cool people but, if it’s alright with everyone, I’m just going to take a break right now”.  The quintessential expression of standing casual.

149. Arrive by Helicopter

Posted in style with tags , on June 16, 2011 by Allen

Imagine this:  The Villa party is in full swing.  Three people have already wound up in the pool in their clothes.  Suddenly the DJ’s set is drowned out by the rhythmical “thumpa, thumpa, thumpa” of an approaching whirlybird, the crowd turns to watch it touch down in the open field next to the guest house and the snake-skin boot wearing passenger steps out of the cockpit and onto the lawn.  Ladies and gentlemen, this is how you make an entrance.

No longer just for cocaine barons and paramedics, the helicopter truly is the most badass way to arrive at places, having narrowly beat out arriving by hovercraft or by elephant convoy in this year’s poll.

Cool Shadow Puppets

Posted in sweet videos on June 1, 2011 by Allen

148. Prank your Friend

Posted in sports, stuff with tags , on May 23, 2011 by Allen

Here’s a story:

My buddy, Simon, posted an ad in the free section on craigslist that went, “Giving away my entire Playboy Magazine collection, (every issue, 1978-present).  Getting married and my fiance’s not cool with me having them.  She says it’s kind of a dealbreaker.  Gonna be with my girl tonight so please text me, no phone calls”  At the end of the ad he put his friend’s name and phone number.

He then went and played poker with that same friend and giggled the night away as his buddy received 25 texts within an hour with messages like, “That sucks, man, getting married’s tough.  I’ll take your porn”.

Among other things, a good prank can be a classy way to throw someone off their poker game.

147. Discover a Way to Effectively Clap with One Hand

Posted in skills on May 11, 2011 by Allen

Question:  How many times have you been at an awards ceremony / graduation / sports event / birthday party / concert when something awesome happens whilst you have a drink in your hands?

Answer:  Every single time!!!

An effective one-handed clap is a skill that exists at the very frontier of cool science. Many have attempted but very few people have mastered it, and it is fraught with danger.  It is a delicate balance of form and function.  You need to be able to create enough sound with only one hand while at the same time not look like you’re having a seizure.

And it’s different for everyone.  Some people can generate enough noise by simply slapping their thigh.  Others have found “good echo” from the crevasse on the side of their buttock, while still others shuck slapping altogether and resort to the two-finger-whistle (this is cheating and super annoying for those around you).

Whichever way is most effective to you…. find it!!!  The one-hand clap is a voodoo art and if you can discover it’s secrets, you’re a step closer to cool.

146. Travel Calmly

Posted in skills on May 5, 2011 by Allen

If you go traveling, this will happen to you:  You will miss your bus, lose your passport, be late for your plane, get ripped off at a night market, eat something dodgy and throw up at least once.

You may also:  Get lost in the jungle, be pick-pocketed, get bitten by a monkey, or nearly die in a para-sailing accident because over there the safety cable is “optional”.

If this bothers you , your trip will just be a hassle.  If you travel calmly, however, these events will become your best stories and they will fill you full of anecdotes and tales to recount for years to come.

P.S.: On my last trip  I was tricked into eating dog, had to leap off a dock onto a departing ferry boat, and lost my shoes and had to go barefoot in Cambodia for a day and a half.  These three stories are on pretty high rotation right now.

145. Bring Extra Beers to the Party

Posted in stuff on April 29, 2011 by Allen

There are two types of people in the world: those with extra beers and those who “bum” beers.  Obviously you want to be the former.

Every now and then, you’ll find yourself in need, and that’s ok.  You just don’t want to make a habit of it.  There’s nothing cooler than being able to say, “You need a beer?  Grab one of the Red Racers in the fridge, those are mine”.

Robin Hood, Jesus and Napster were super cool because they shared everything.  You should too.

This Guy can do Cooler Things than Me

Posted in sweet videos on April 7, 2011 by Allen

144. Give a Stranger Flowers

Posted in statements on March 21, 2011 by Allen

Everybody should try this at least once in their life, it’s pretty awesome.  This is how it should play out:

You buy a bouquet of flowers and just walk down the street with them.  At some point, inevitably, an older lady is going to jokingly say, “Oh, are those for me?”  You immediately respond with, “Oh, yeah, there you are.  I’ve been looking all over for you.  Here you go.”  You hand them the flowers and you walk away.  To that lady, you are now the coolest person in the world.

The best time of year to do this is around Valentine’s day because it’s a bit more sentimental for everyone.  Be careful, though.  This is when florists jack up the price of roses.

Sometimes, it’s Cool to Cheat

Posted in sweet videos on March 13, 2011 by Allen

Your move, UFC.  What’s your answer to this?

143. Get “Into” a European Sport

Posted in sports on March 4, 2011 by Allen

Bless you Europe.  Everything about you seems exotic to us.  Your fragrant wines, your crazy fashion, your outrageous accents.

The great thing about really getting into a European sport is that, if you really want to, you’ll never miss a game.  The time difference allows you to get up at 4:30 am to watch the end of that Cycling race or to take in that Cricket tie.

You hear ridiculous expressions from play by play commentators like “That chap is a dibbly dobbler“, or “They’re at sixes and sevens at the back!”

Perhaps the single greatest benefit of really getting into a European sport is that it now allows you to wear colourful football scarves indoors and memorize fan chants like Dirty Northern Bastards and Posh Spice is a Slapper.

142. Help Push a Stranger’s Car

Posted in stuff on February 19, 2011 by Allen

For this example, let’s call that stranger, Steven.

Steven is at a busy intersection in his ’92 Honda Accord, waiting to make a left hand turn.  He sees his opening and presses on the gas only to feel his once trusty engine sputter and die at the worst possible moment.

Steven swears at the top of his lungs, for a moment almost drowning out the crescendo of angry horns from irate drivers all around him.  He slams the car into neutral, opens his driver door, and laboriously tries to push and steer his car to the side of the road.

Suddenly, the car seems light!  Steven turns around and sees you pushing on the back, easily helping to guide the Accord through the intersection and safely off to the curb.  Gratefully, Steven turns back again only to see you give him one of your patented No Need to Thank Me waves as you disappear back into the hustle and bustle of the city.

Steven is left wondering, “Who was that, anyway?  Where did they come from?  Were they some kind of angel?”

The answers to those three questions are:  1) You,  2)  just walking along the sidewalk, and…  3) Yes.

Cool Running

Posted in sweet videos on February 11, 2011 by Allen

141. Make Up a Backstory for your Neighbours

Posted in stuff on February 7, 2011 by Allen

This is not so much a “cool” thing to do as it is a “fun” thing to do.  Cool people do fun things, however, so it counts.

Currently I have a neighbour living downstairs who is a hit-man for the mob, the guy at my local coffee shop is a world famous house DJ and the woman across the street is a member of the Swazi Royal Family now living in exile.

Sadly, I recently discovered that the mob hit-man is actually a Youth and Family Worker at a local elementary school.  This brings up an important rule: under NO circumstances should you allow yourself to find out what these people really do.  Once the illusion is shattered, you can never get it back.

140. Be the “Point Man” for the Evening’s Events

Posted in soirees on January 25, 2011 by Allen

This is a high risk/high reward job.  As the Point Man, you are essentially the organizer.  Most likely, the night’s activities were your idea.  If the itinerary you lay out is awesome and everyone has a good time, you’re the hero.  If the events are not fun, well… that goes on your permanent record.

What’s that?  You’re ready to step up and design a soiree of fun for your friends?  OK, here’s the difficult part:  You’ll be spending half the night fielding texts and firing off messages of logistics to everyone.  You need to be firm and decisive!  You make a meeting time and you stick to it!  You have the addresses of all the places you’ll be going to and the times you expect to be there!  People will forget where they’re going, they’ll come late, they’ll want to know if they’re on the guest list.  Make sure your phone is charged.  If it dies, the evening is lost.

Your friends are awesome, but when you’re the Point Man, they’re like a bunch of preschool children.  Tell them what to do and where to go and they’ll love you for it.

139. Develop a Good “Photo Face”

Posted in style on January 19, 2011 by Allen

This does not mean “be good looking” or “have a nice smile”.  You’re going to get your photo taken hundreds of times this year.  You can’t be all smiley and happy in every shot, it reads as forced.  Likewise, you can’t always throw out a coquettish, sexy look all the time, it’s just not appropriate for a family Christmas card.

What you’re going to need to develop is a repeatable, non-committal facial expression that says “I’m having fun and I’m happy to be here”.  Generally, this expression  falls into the category of funny or surprised without being overly ridiculous.  It’s great for  when you want to stand out in a group.

The fact is, when somebody yells out, “Say cheeze!” it’s much easier to hold your “photo face” than it is to hold a phony smile.

Vincent Van Gogh painted many self portraits in a variety of different styles throughout his career.  As you experiment with your “photo face”, exploring it’s various subtleties and nuances with every pic, think of yourself as the Vincent Van Gogh of the Nikon Age.

It’s Cool to be Lucky

Posted in sweet videos on January 11, 2011 by Allen

138. Carry a Flask

Posted in style on January 2, 2011 by Allen

Straight out of the Golden Age of Drinking, nothing evokes images of prohibition, speakeasies and flapper girls quite like breaking out that little metal container full of hooch.

Perfect for dinner parties, movie theaters or just wandering around the mall.  It’s hobo chic.  It adds an element of class and dignity to your brazen public drinking.

Perhaps the greatest delight of the flask comes from passing it to someone else.  See the excitement and anticipation in their eyes as they bring it to their lips.  It is the thrill of mystery booze that does it.  Until it’s actually in their mouth, there is no way for them to truly know what they’re about to drink.

137. Just Eat at the Party

Posted in soirees on December 26, 2010 by Allen

Nothing is more frustrating than having a big meal before going out for the night only to realize, once you get to the party, that you’re too full to enjoy any of the spread.  Proper food planning is essential in order for you to get the most out of your seasonal holiday parties.

First of all, eating dinner before going out is just wasted time.  Cool people are so busy doing cool things and making the world a cooler place that taking time out for a meal is rarely an option.

Secondly, everyting you need is already at the party.  Most spreads will include the five essential food groups:  vegetables, cheese, pastries, crab cakes and chocolate desserts.

Finally, it’s impolite not to graze on the food your host has laid out.  If they’ve gone to all the trouble to microwave those little sausage rolls from Costco, the most gracious thing you can do is to jam a bunch of them in your mouth.  It’s common courtesy.

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